Taking the bull by the balls Part 3

I’m calling you sissies out!

Ok I am just gonna say it, The gays are getting on my nerves. I know I know your thinking “Hey DJ are you not gay?” Yes I am but I am a gay with common sense, ah these is the difference. It seems I am also a that is not a coward gay.

So several states have decided “Hey we got some real issues going on, if two men or two women want to get married and drive each other fucking crazy who am I to deny them that?” and so many states are passing gay marriage laws or some kind of equivelant. Everybody is getting in on the fun except for California, who can say why, maybe the closet movie stars decided they couldn’t vote against prop 8, but I digress.

President Obama who has stated in the past he does not believe in gay marriage but he does believe in equality says yes to civil unions or same couple unions or whatever the buzz word is. Personally if it allows me to visit my sick partner in the hospital without a lot of bullshit you can call it booboo kitty fuck! Anyway we have a President who is clearly on our side, much more than the previous one, but clearly he is not moving fast enough for my fellow homosexuals. So they have decided to attack him, and they are boycotting, and doing all kinds of “cutting off your nose to spite your face” type shit.

The ziplock commercial taught is yellow and blue make green but what does yellow and pink make? What the hell do you mean there is going to be a stonewall cocktail party or whatever it is that is gay themed and the power gays that are invited are not going? How fucking crazy are you people, I mean have the poppers fried your brain cells? Excuse my racism but Damn yall is real white!

Where was all this noise and revolt and boycott of the invites to the gays from the Bush White house….oh yeah that is right, yall didn’t get invited to the White House cause nobody gave a fuck about you then. So now that someone has shown you a little attention you have decided to grow a pair? That is so gay!

So to my fellow gays, you want Gay to be the new black and really mean it, you will A) Learn a little fucking patience, people of color still catching hell across the country and the Emancipation proclamation was put into effect back in 1862. The Black Power Movement was 1966-1975 and we are still looking for a level playing field. B) Don’t attack your allies. We were in the dark for over 8 years and now you want to bite the hand that is feeding you cause the vittles are not coming fast enough?

I wish Barack would invite me to the White House, two minutes face time to make my case, Hell yeah I am going!

You crazy sissies! Gay has a long way to go for it gets black, right now it is still very yellow!

Is gay their ethnicity

When I woke up this morning Reggie was watching the video of Wanda Sykes from the White House correspondence dinner. Once I fully woke up and gathered my wits about me (a 30 minute process on a good day) I logged on and went to check her out myself. For the record let me say I have been a Wanda Sykes fan for awhile, well before she came out. I watched her short lived sitcom on Fox and she was the only reason I sat thru “Monster in Law” with that damn J-Lo, plus anybody who can get under Dr. Bill Cosby’s self righteous skin is ok in my book.

Anyway after I had finished , she did very well in my book by the way, Reggie asked me if I felt she had not done her due part by including her recently outted lesbianism into her act. I knew his question was academic and not an actual slight, so as with most things I answered with a story. I won’t retell the entire story here I will just give the reader’s digest answer. I was a huge fan of Ellen’s sitcom until after she came out on the show and the whole show became about her coming out. Curious I asked Reggie why that question had come up and he told me before I got my ire up (no difficult job) that nobody had said anything…yet. But he was bracing himself for the backlash from the gay community for her lack of “pride” at the event.

To late I thought, as my ire was clearly up and alert now. As I rolled my eyes and breathed through my nose at the ridiculousness of it all Reggie, clearly the sea of calm in our little family, said I should not get mad at the gay community as being gay is their ethnicity.

Let me take a beat here and explain some gay community stuff. The gay community for all its bluster for wanting to be treated like everyone else is one of the most diverse divided societies in this country. When I usually speak of the gay community I usually mean white people who are gay. Yes gay comes in all flavors and colors, but like the rest of America there are divides and separations. You don’t believe me, the group that fought against Prop 8 in California last year planned and laid out this fight for awhile but it was not until the week before the election when one of the higher up decided, maybe we should get some of our literature out in Spanish, I mean it is California after all. If it is not the exotic boyfriend white gays usually don’t include browns in their community.

So when Reggie said their gay is their ethnicity, it gave me pause (and lowered my ire). Could this really be the case? Could all this uproar and constant grinding of teeth I hear from the gay community stem from the fact that they feel that in this country, which for the next 40 years will still cater to whites really believe that their gay struggle puts them on the same par with the struggle of other “ethnic” groups?

Food for thought indeed and questions in need of answers, so I ask you blogosphere. I have a lot of readers from many groups’ black, white, yellow, pink triangles, red black and green power fist. Is gay an ethnic group?

Tuesdays Invitation!

Andy Mangels was born and raised in Montana. He is best known as a writer for comics, science fiction, and cartoon related material. He is also a huge Wonder Woman fan.




I have to say I really admire Andy Mangels. He has been asked for his opinion and made a part of his living on giving the history and his feelings on cartoons that people of my generation grew up with. He has written and directed documentaries or special commentary for DVD releases such as He-Man ,She-Ra, Isis, Ghostbusters, and Star Trek just to name a few. He has also written or co written books for several Star Trek and other pop culture properties. In addition to his writing he is a gay activist giving of himself to many charities and worth causes. He has even run in a couple of International Mr. Leather contest. For any grown kid like me he is a true inspiration.


So Andy Mangels please accept this invitation to the Dinner party of the year. Your opinion, your diversity, and your pop culture geekdom knowledge are more than welcome! (I will be expecting you to wear the Wonder Woman shirt!)

A story that never goes stale....

It has been a long time since I have told my coming out story.

I came out over 15 years ago right before being gay was really a gateway to being cool and interesting. When I was growing up I was that quiet moody but oh so bright kid that didn’t seem to make many friends. Not only was I a social misfit in school but because of test scores I skipped the 5th grade so everyone was a little older than me for a lot of my school life. On top of that, I was gay. I knew it and I think my mother knew it too. But somewhere along the way we had both made a pact of secrecy to never ever bring it up. I remember trying to talk to her about it once I had to be about 13 years old and her eyes literally pleaded with me to not have the conversation so I back peddled. I stuffed it all deep inside me and sat on it. Every time I thought it might come up I threw food on top of it so now I am a fat social misfit.

It took me another 7 years of torment and torture to get myself to a place where I just didn’t give a damn anymore. My mother was the first family member I came out to, luckily she too had grown some and when we had the conversation she didn’t beg me not to. My grandmother was a very different story. Now for those that know me outside the internet machine know how much I love my grandmother. A psychic even told me once that she and I have shared many past lives together and I am inclined to believe that. So imagine how hard it was for me when she could not accept her gay grandson. Not only did we have a huge fight followed by a series of smaller ones but we pretty much spent a year away from each other. And while her reasons were not biblical she just could not understand why I would choose to be gay. That statement told me more about then and still holds true to this day about how straight people tend to see gay people. And I guess that is why even if I have told this story 100 times I should tell it 500 more, just for those in the cheap seats.

As I told her that day in a rather sarcastic manner (hey I was 20) when she asked me why I would choose this I responded with “ I am a young intelligent black man in America, I feel I didn’t have enough strikes against me so I figured if I was gay I might win some kind of Nobel prize!”

Coming out is rarely easy for regular folks, I have seen and heard of people getting disowned, thrown out of their houses, beaten etc and that is from family member. People who are suppose to love you and have your back. And while I am sure it is hard all over I can speak from experience how hard coming out is in the black community. I picked my Tuesday invite to go out to Wanda Sykes because she did something quite courageous. She came out as a black lesbian. She just lost a third of her audience. She may never be cast in any of the African American orientated Christmas or church movies now (on the surface not a bad thing) but this will affect her career. My only hope is that others will follow suit and join her on this side of the closet.

And for all my religious friends out there who are going to use the bible against me when it comes to homosexuality I am posting one of my favorite scenes from the West Wing.

Living the Lifestyle (A rewind thru time)

Occasionally I will come across an old post from my 360 days and repost it because " Hey why not it was good the first time. This is one such post...


Lifestyle

Merriam Webster defines “Lifestyle” as the typical way of life of an individual, group, or culture.

I guess my problem with that definition is the word “typical”. I have more than a few friends who have struggled with coming to grips with their sexuality because of what they see as the “gay” lifestyle. I in fact remember my year of coming out when I went all queen. There were these two guys I met thru a friend and they were “typical”. They shopped for hours on end, they took two hours getting ready to go out, the spent a hour of that time whooping out make up kits in order to achieve that perfect look (most of these people were actors so they had stage make up), and they had to arrive at the club at exactly 12:48 am because that was the optimal time to arrive and be seen by everyone.

I just remember thinking to myself every weekend “What the hell have I gotten myself into?” For those who have never met me in person let me tell you a little bit about DJ. I sleep late, I fart often, I eat shit that is bad for me (well not so much anymore since I got a little older), I stand by the dryer so that when it is done everything can immediately go on a hanger so I don’t have to iron, I have bumps on my face at times (in high school my nose was one huge acne crop field), I love a good funny t-shirt, I love some worn torn (thru wear) jeans and when it’s cols a sweatshirt! I am not now nor will I ever be a fashionista.

If you ask my sister she will tell you I am not gay, I just like sleeping with men. I know a lot of people that have issues with their sexuality because they think they are going to have to act like the guys on Queer as Folk or Noah’s Arc. While those might be the loudest examples of “The Lifestyle” they are far from the only, sometimes it just requires opening your eyes. Not only have I been that couple but I have sat in restaurants and watched those couples. They almost look like two buddies out together for dinner before they hit the streets. But if you know how and where to look you see a couple that is out for dinner. They are both probably blue collar guys that live in the neighborhood and have dinner after getting off work before they head home to do laundry, pay bills, and if there really lucky make with the “dance of the wild monkeys” before bed. They might even go to the parade and maybe an occasional house party. Now how is their lifestyle any more or less real?

The “lifestyle” conversation is equivalent to saying that you are only a real black man if you were baggy pants and have done some time. While it is true that I have some friends that will dress a little hood, I have left all my hard time people as those first hook ups of 15 years ago, when I first came out into the “Lifestyle!”

Too Gay for TV??

Watch and Decide......

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